So here's the first extract being released for my new book Sorting Out Sid. If you like it, now's a good time to place your pre-order for the book on Flipkart here at this link, because 200 people are also going to get a Happily Unmarried Beanbag Mobile Phone holder with their copy of the book!
Sid tapped his fingers on the
table for a while, in a pensive mood. Finally, the door swung open and Ravi
ushered in the agency team along with a couple of other brand managers. The
first person to enter was Murali, the head of the agency. He burst in with his
usual boisterous confidence and flourishing moustache, booming, ‘How are you,
Sid?’ and extended his hand.
‘Fine, FINE,’ said Sid in a loud
and deep voice that came pretty close to matching Murali’s in terms of pitch,
allowing his hand to be pumped in Murali’s death grip. They had never really
liked each other. Sid thought Murali was a condescending gasbag, and he had
always felt Murali resented dealing with a client so much younger than himself.
They stood there smiling affably at one another. ‘Take a seat, Murali, so good
to see you. Coffee?’
‘Sure, would love one,’
said Murali, and plonked himself heavily on one of the chairs as the rest of
his team piled in. Sid greeted each one and noted with a heavy heart that it
was a crowd today – about ten people? His heart sank. This was bad news; he
knew this only happened when there was a particularly horrendous script idea,
and thus the need for reinforcements. Right now in the room, Sid noted, were
people from the servicing team, the copy team, the creative head, the account
director and one small fellow whom Sid hadn’t seen before, and vaguely
suspected to be the office tea boy. Still, one would hear them out – one hardly
had a choice.
Once everyone had settled down and
the pleasantries about the weather were out of the way, Sid cleared his throat
and said, ‘So, can we start?’
Murali opened his mouth to speak,
but Ravi piped in, ‘Sid, Akash said he would join us, should we wait for him?’
Sid gave Ravi a withering look which had absolutely no impact on the young man.
He was about to say that there was no need to wait, and that Akash would pick
up the threads, when the door opened and Akash came in, bustling with
self-importance. Murali stood up to greet Akash as did the rest of the agency.
Sid cringed inwardly. Whenever Murali and Akash met, the conversation between
them was always extended and jovial, with entirely senseless rambling. It was
to be no different this time. After ten minutes more of poor jokes, meaningless
reminiscing and comments about the weather, a lull in the conversation
indicated it was finally time to start the script presentation. Sid looked at
his watch – 11.30 a.m., already! And not one useful task had yet been
accomplished all morning.
Murali
put on his serious business face and turned to Akash. ‘Akash, we have something
brilliant for you today, you’re going to love it. It’s brilliant, boss! When
you hear it, you’re going to say, “brilliant!”.’ Akash nodded as if under a
spell, but Murali continued with a warning in his tone, ‘But, you have to be
able to see it, you have to be able to visualize … and if you can’t visualize
it…’ He shook his head sorrowfully. ‘… you won’t be able to appreciate it.’
Akash nodded sagely and Sid
cleared his throat, irritated that Murali seemed to be addressing only Akash.
Murali continued, ‘Rimi came up with this script, so, I’d like her to present.
Go ahead, Rimi.’
Sid noted that Akash had assumed
his listening stance – he leaned back on his chair with a serious expression
and covered his eyes with his hand. Rimi looked confused but Murali indicated
that she should go ahead.
Rimi was a thin, pale young girl
with long, flowing, black hair who had always given Sid the impression of being
an anorexic ghost who smoked too much. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes
and started narrating the script in a low monotone that she presumably thought
was very captivating and sexy.
‘The story opens with the camera
panning out over a modern-looking room. There is a row of four beds, each of
which has one person fast asleep under the covers. We cannot see who they are
until suddenly there is a ray of sunshine that beams through the window over
each of the beds in quick succession. As this happens, the people on the bed
throw off their bed covers in perfect synchronization. As they emerge, we see
that they are four very beautiful, young girls. they stretch in synchronization
and step out of their beds in synchronization. In perfect synchronization they
get ready quickly and have their breakfast. They step out of the house in synchronized steps. We then see
that they have reached another building. At this building, they step inside and
go into a changing room where there are four empty booths waiting for them. In
perfect synchronization, they step into the changing booths and when they step
out we see they are in swimming suits. In the climax of the film, all four dive
in perfect synchronization into a swimming pool and it is revealed to us that
they are in fact – synchronized swimmers!’
There were a few long moments of
silence – of anticipation on the agency’s side, horror on Sid’s part. Akash was
nodding slowly, his hand still covering his eyes.
As per protocol, Akash, as the
most senior person, was supposed to speak first. Everyone waited … and waited.
Finally, Akash uncovered his eyes and spoke, but only to sidestep smoothly by
saying, ‘I’m still absorbing it. Sid, you want to react first?’
This was exactly what Sid had been
hoping for. Biting back sarcasm, he asked politely, ‘This is supposed to be an
ad for our lead toilet cleaner, Kollinex. I must have missed the part where
that came in?’
Rimi
fumbled with her script, the very picture of ghostly, pale confusion, but
Murali stepped in, booming, ‘Well, obviously Rimi didn’t spell it out, Sid, but
the very idea here is to bring a certain glamour to the category. These girls
are well rested and fresh in the morning. “Fresh in the morning”. The morning
routine consists of bathroom visits – it’s about the concept. Here we are
trying to give you a feel of the whole story without the boring product windows
and brand specifics.’ He paused for impact, and to give Sid a look that
magnificently combined superiority with reproach. ‘But of course, you have to
be able to visualize it.’
Work Sid prided himself on being a
cool character whose feathers rarely got ruffled. right now, however, he felt
the blood rushing to his ears. He was on the verge of telling Murali to visualize
exactly where he could stuff his lousy script, when Akash finally cleared
his throat and looked up at the several tense faces around the room.
He exclaimed, ‘I can see it! I can
visualize!’
As Sid looked on in dumbstruck
horror, unable to believe his ears, Akash continued, ‘Apart from the minor
point that Sid has mentioned, think this is indeed brilliant!’ the agency faces
lit up with happy, relieved smiles as he continued, ‘It is attention grabbing! It
has glamour! It has a story! Brilliant! Let’s create the storyboard and put it
into research quickly!’
He got up to shake Murali’s hand. The
meeting was concluded amidst happy laughter and jubilation all around. Sid sat
glued to his chair, numb with shock. His team looked confused and disappointed,
with one notable exception – young, enthusiastic Ravi who continued to take
what appeared to be copious notes, pausing every now and then to shoot gleeful
looks around the room.
The agency left shortly
thereafter. Sid presumed they planned to take the rest of the day off getting
drunk. He bade them farewell, his fake work-smile pasted on his face. The room
emptied and Sid was the last to leave. He sighed as he went back to his desk
with heavy steps, and a thought entered his mind – would it be premature to
resign before finding alternative employment?
Liked what you read so far? Pre-order the book now! Please note that the cool beanbags are only valid on 200 pre-orders on Flipkart at this link.