Saturday, May 26, 2018

You Can Take Her Out of the Corporate World...

'When are you going to call that lady about the painting and all?'

We're driving to the mall, and I'm asking Vijay about the ONE thing that I've asked him to do to get our house in better order. Over the last few weeks, I've had someone come in, check out the place and email us a quote.

'Soon, soon.' He grunts, squinting against the sunlight in his eyes. Vijay doesn't believe in sunglasses. He thinks only show-offs wear sunglasses. I am wearing my new sunglasses and turn towards him, exasperated.

'Soon?' I cry. 'You've been saying this for DAYS. I've gone and done all the scoping and pre-work for it...all I'm saying now is step in and just get it done! Call her up today and just fix the start date...I'm travelling anyway so much in the next couple of weeks, you'll have to supervise everything, and...'

'Oh, yes, of course, I will.' He says soothingly, his eyes crinkling even further. He casts an amused glance at me. 'I understand my role better now...so...YOU did all the hard work of calling up someone and getting them to come and submit a quote...and I have the simple task of just actually getting it all executed, right?'

'Right.' I mumble unconvincingly. 'Now, it's just about...'

'Execution.' He swoops in. 'Naturally. All the management decisions have now been taken...now it is just about the rigor, the details, the actual doing of the work...so I must take over. Because as the boss, you just need to set direction and targets and review, right?'

'Don't be so silly.' I say coldly and turn to look out the window.

'You can take Yashodhara out of the corporate world.' My husband muses as we hit the highway. 'But you can't take the corporate world out of Yashodhara.'

'Very funny.'

'No, I'm serious.' He insists. 'It's like...even if I were to tell you...let's just do nothing...you'd still want to see a plan around it.'

'Now you're being...'

'Yes...what has to be done?' He uses a high-pitched whiny voice to imitate my pretend-reply. 'Nothing? But we have to plan for it....(deep voice) Why?....(whiny voice)...Because if you don't plan for doing nothing, how do you know that you might not accidentally end up doing something?...(Deep voice) But, but, no one is going to do anything! ...(Whiny voice) Yes, but unless we do a weekly review to make sure that no one is doing anything, someone might end up doing something! Just put it on my calendar okay, send me a meeting invite...

I glare out of the window ignoring him, while his conversation with himself continues. My children in the back seat aren't sure what the hell is going on, but that doesn't stop them from picking up the gist and laughing along with their father at me. Ha ha ha, Bossy-Mama.

No wonder why some weekends, I can't wait for Monday to be here again.



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